Sunday 1 June 2014

Minimalist Routines, Minimalist Gainz

What's up homos!

So, yeah, I'm probably going to hell for saying this. I mean, sure, all of these routines have been around for a while and are foolproof, and quite tested. HOWEVER (mind the caps yo), people don't usually think of the objectives these routines were created for. 

5x5 variations have been used for football, amateur, teen players for years. You really think the NFL players roll with just a couple sets? 5/3/1 is a nice routine, but when did Jim Wendler design it? After stop competing. That doesn't take from the fact that he's still strong as fuck, but why would you use it? As I mentioned here, you can almost always cope with more volume. Yes, you heard that right. I know it hurts for those who think they are the hardest ass out there, but 3 sets of squats is hardly taxing shit. Deadlifting once per week? Well deadlifts are really easy to improve, but don't you think you can get away with more, especially if you do ONLY ONE FUCKING SET?

So many of these routines make you work off a fake 1RM (90% of your real one) and then do a percentage breakdown from there, resulting in strength working sessions with 60-70% of your 1RM. Of course every rep helps in terms of building a little bit of muscle here, and improving neuromuscular coordination there, but it probably gets better with more intensity ya know?

So there, we usually have either puny volume or shitty intensity. Hey, nothing wrong with it; I am a proponent of lifelong training, and taking it as a ways, a lifestyle, and not as something you bust your ass doing for 2 years and then give up. So is my stance, and so is Mao's in MFQH

The problem arises when people are not really satisfied with their results. Nowadays, you see, bodybuilding has gotten a bad rep, and thus most new lifters hop on the strength bandwagon simply because bodybuilding used to be the mainstream shit. Nobody can give in and accept they'd like to look better. 
Nah, we need functional strength, "relative" strength and not net total, and a heavy ass squat to make up for our two incher. 

Most of the people, though, after toying with strength training for a while, get tired of looking almost the same, and transfer to other routines, or give up. 

You're really interested in strength? Be my guest. 
You're simply deluded and denying your objectives? Fuck you, pay me.

If you don't recognise the quote, or you don't know who Paul Sorvino is, you have worse problems than your routine.

Why not try for once something different? Get your balls to the wall and dare do singles, doubles, and triples if you train for strength. I'm no telling you to base your training on that alone, but it helps with strength. Why not more sets? People REALLY underestimate the role of volume. You could probably build more strength on a 10x10, a traditional bodybuilding template, than with 3 sets of 5 reps, believe me. Do that everyday? Not necessarily, but doing higher reps and especially higher sets will help with your objectives almost always, be it strength or hypertrophy.

So let's summarise a little for the guys with special education needs and shit

  • Fucking first of all and I cannot stress this enough, come to terms with yourfuckingself. You want hypertrophy? Then do hypertrophy.
  • I won't tell you to ditch your old routine. But next time you finish a mesocycle, take a reload week off, and try some new ideas do a good 3-4 months. You got nothing to lose.
  • Go harder. You can almost always go harder. Eat more, rest more. This is your new mantra.


So let's see what you could do in those months:

  • Fullbody and lower/upper are great. P/P/L is great although it's way too much sacrifice for most. Find your comfy zone.
  • Up those sets. Doing a couple exercises for 5 sets each per muscle group is a nice way to start.
  • Strength training? Try some doubles. Hypertrophy? Ever toyed with 10x10? Give it a try, and you'll love it.
  • Make sure each set counts. Hint, it doesn't if you're stopping like 8 fucking reps shy of failure.

So, that'll be all for today, no fancy studies or science to back up shit up in dis bitch now. Just pure, honest hard work, and good gains. Sin cojones no hay gloria.

Peace out,

J